It was a dank, ardent evening. The fog was somewhat superfluous, yet it was still a spooky night. The sign on the rusted fence read "no tresspassing - by the authority of the evil Count Austin Lehman." No one dared set foot in Count Lehman's land, especially on a night like this. But that didn't stop village idiot Josh Houston.
Josh didn't care about the warnings, or the stories about the disappearances associated with the Count. All he cared about was the Count's daughter, Sarah, whom he was madly in love with. Josh had taken Sarah to the valentines day ball earlier that year, and had been in love with her ever since.
On that dank night, the power of love drove Josh to enter the Count's land. He was too determined to see his one true love, sassy Sarah. But luck would not shine on the village idiot, for he was caught within seconds of entering the Count's property. Soon after, he was bullied and tortured at the Count's amusement, who laughed histerically. Josh cried out Sarah's name, but that just made the beating worse. The Count let him go the next day, and Josh never set foot near the Count again.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Writing Challenge #2
Twins' Mauer's "Bilateral Leg Weakness" Actually Growth of Third Leg
April 22nd, 2011
Earlier this week, Minnesota Twins All-Star catcher Joe Mauer was put on the disabled list. The reason behind his shelving - "Bilateral Leg Weakness." Upon further investigation, it was determined that the actual cause of Mauer's pain was the growth of a third leg.
"Yeah, sort of caught me off guard," said the 4-time All Star, "never really guessed I had a third leg."
"Yeah, he's fucked," said Twins physician Dr. Dan Buss, "I mean, he's got a third leg growing out from the side of his knee. A third leg. What do you expect?"
Dr. Buss went on to bitch and moan about how his fantasy baseball team would suffer and how his number one overall pick in his online draft had been a complete and utter waste.
"Should've gone with Pujols. Goddamn it," said Buss.
This was yet another blow to Twins fans, who already had suffered through an embarrasing start to the 2011 season. After watching their 4-time All Star closer Joe Nathan miss an entire season the year before due to Tommy John's surgery and MVP first basemen Justin Morneau lose more than half a season due to a concussion, morale in Twins nation is at an all-time low.
"Joe Mauer is our Babe Ruth," said 14-year-old Twins fan Zach Kramka, "He's our Superman. What are we going to do without Superman?"
"Pretty boy signs an 8-year, $184 million dollar contract extension, and now we find out he's got a third leg?" raged disgraced vendor Wally the Beerman outside the gates of Target Field, "Fuck 'em."
"I hope to get back on the field as soon as possible," said Mauer at a press conference shortly after the news broke, "There's balls to be hit and sticks to be handled."
Mauer then blushed, embarassed, as many of the elder writers in the baseball community laughed and giggled at his last comment. Many are skeptical, but Mauer's determined work ethic has served him well in the past. A comeback from this would sure be one for the ages.
Friday, April 15, 2011
WRITING CHALLENGE #1
"This was some adventure, huh?"
There, I said it. I'd like to take this time to talk about the adventure of the college process, which I have just very recently completed. Last night, I sat down with my parents and told them that I had made finally made a decision on where I will land next year - Washington University in St. Louis. Earlier that day my mom and I had made a day trip down to Madison, where I met up with my friend's sister and sat in on a few classes. Madison was my final stop on a long, tiring journey that lasted nearly two years.
It all started the fall of my junior year, when I took the Project Success trip to Chicago to visit such schools as Northwestern, DePaul, and University of Chicago. The school that most caught my eye was Northwestern, and I applied there. This was the only school that I did not get in, although technically I wasn't denied - I was waitlisted. Looking back on it, I'm glad they didn't outright accept me because it would have made my final choice that much harder.
Not many other schools were on my radar until my family and I decided on hiring a college advisor, a decision that I am thankful we made. She helped me find colleges that were of my liking, and helped me through the whole application process. I did not know what Washington Univeristy in St. Louis was until she suggested it to me, and I ended up visiting there this past summer and spent a night just a couple weeks ago. This trip was actually paid for by Wash U, as they offered this to me in their acceptance letter. That last trip really helped me in my final decision, I'm glad that I went.
The other schools I looked at, as well as getting accepted to, were Michigan, UW-Madison, and the U. I toured all three, and liked them all. But Michigan felt too big and too expensive for a public school, and the U was just too close. I wanted a change of scenery, so that was immediately out. That left UW-Madison, which was far enough away and also a great financial deal. This would be one of my final two options, and would go head-to-head with Wash U.
In the end, I chose Wash U. I chose it because I really got that gut feeling when I was walking around campus and sitting in on classes. You know, that feeling you get when you know something is really right. I felt comfortable, safe, and I know it will set me up and prepare me for an amazing life after college. I feel confident in my decision, and can't wait to go down to St. Louis in the fall.
There, I said it. I'd like to take this time to talk about the adventure of the college process, which I have just very recently completed. Last night, I sat down with my parents and told them that I had made finally made a decision on where I will land next year - Washington University in St. Louis. Earlier that day my mom and I had made a day trip down to Madison, where I met up with my friend's sister and sat in on a few classes. Madison was my final stop on a long, tiring journey that lasted nearly two years.
It all started the fall of my junior year, when I took the Project Success trip to Chicago to visit such schools as Northwestern, DePaul, and University of Chicago. The school that most caught my eye was Northwestern, and I applied there. This was the only school that I did not get in, although technically I wasn't denied - I was waitlisted. Looking back on it, I'm glad they didn't outright accept me because it would have made my final choice that much harder.
Not many other schools were on my radar until my family and I decided on hiring a college advisor, a decision that I am thankful we made. She helped me find colleges that were of my liking, and helped me through the whole application process. I did not know what Washington Univeristy in St. Louis was until she suggested it to me, and I ended up visiting there this past summer and spent a night just a couple weeks ago. This trip was actually paid for by Wash U, as they offered this to me in their acceptance letter. That last trip really helped me in my final decision, I'm glad that I went.
The other schools I looked at, as well as getting accepted to, were Michigan, UW-Madison, and the U. I toured all three, and liked them all. But Michigan felt too big and too expensive for a public school, and the U was just too close. I wanted a change of scenery, so that was immediately out. That left UW-Madison, which was far enough away and also a great financial deal. This would be one of my final two options, and would go head-to-head with Wash U.
In the end, I chose Wash U. I chose it because I really got that gut feeling when I was walking around campus and sitting in on classes. You know, that feeling you get when you know something is really right. I felt comfortable, safe, and I know it will set me up and prepare me for an amazing life after college. I feel confident in my decision, and can't wait to go down to St. Louis in the fall.
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